I don’t like confrontation. My palms sweat at the mere thought of engaging in a conflict with anyone. Any. One. Having said that, I do feel strongly about my beliefs and if you’re going to cast a shadow on me, I am going to tell you how I feel about it. It is in those moments that I don’t much worry about how you will respond, nor how sweaty my palms are. I don’t even think of it as confrontational…just my way of shining my light. Everyone is better off with a little more light, right?
It’s none of my business what you think.
Don’t get me wrong. I do care what you think of me! Of course I do. I have 4 children, and have been a teacher in the district I have lived in for almost 20 years. I have no choice but to care. Yet I am clear that it is none of my business. I mean, you can think what you think. Your thoughts are private to you, which makes it none of my business. My only job is to mind my own thoughts, which is why I am not bogged down with your thoughts, but instead, what I would like you to know.
In the face of darkness, shine brighter.
Sometimes though, someone’s darkness is so twisted up and dark that even my enlightening shine, will not be welcomed. You know the darkness I am talking about. The people that spread poison everywhere. The victims, the scorned ex-wife/husband, the disgruntled worker, the one who is always sick, or tired, or overworked, underemployed, underpaid…you get my point and you know just who I am talking about. They are the ones that no matter what your past has been with them, no matter what niceties you share, they only hear their own negative voice from their past and respond with more toxins.
When faced with this kind of darkness, all of your words seem to come right back around as some twisted up poison as well, leaving you feeling drained.
Dim their darkness.
This is the real opportunity for you, though. It is during these interactions that you have to dig deeper than deep. So deep that you are able to block out the fact that darkness is casting a shadow on you. So deep that all you are truly aware of is your ability to shine.
Imagine it is the middle of the winter and you have taken a short trip to an island to catch up on some overdue sunshine and warmth. As you gaze at the blue skies, the suns reflection on the water, the comforting warm air, you find it difficult to even recall how cold you were just hours before in the airport. That is exactly how deep you need to go.
Happiness is an inside job.
Once you are there, remember that happiness is an inside job and only you can control it. So who cares about that shadow upon you? One large step to the right and all you will see is sunshine again. So shine on! Say something uplifting, something positive, and something totally unexpected. You will be amazed that if you look right into someone’s darkness and say, “I hope you have a great day”, they will grow silent as you walk away. Not only will you feel better, but it will dim their darkness as well and make you shine even brighter.