And you know what? That’s okay.
No, really. It is okay. Even with all of the disappointments, sadness, frustration, and moments of wondering how I got here again, I understand that I am human and perfectly imperfect like the rest of us. Yet my uncanny ability to get to my feet again, dust off and carry on with hope and possibility has been even more important than the fact that my life hasn’t gone as planned.
My gift to persevere is not something I think much about until the moment I have hit the ground again, but when I do, I rely heavily on my fail-proof plan: get steady, lean slightly and take someone else’s hand when needed.
That’s the basic stop, drop and roll for me, but the details are where the rubber meets the road.
1 – Get Steady
Getting steady means regaining some balance. And just like a balance pose in yoga, focusing on a steady spot in the room, in order to get fully centered in life, you need to find time to focus on yourself for at least a moment. For me, that means taking the time to be kind to myself. It means not criticizing that I am here again, but instead, praising myself with what comes next…I can always get back up. I then steady myself and take the time I need to recover knowing that what is next, is to get back up!
2 – Leaning into the Curve
It’s hard to emotionally lean into the curve because it feels unnatural. At first. This is because in the face of real hardship and disappointment, our natural way of being is anger resentment and disappointment, which often leads to blame. You know…YOU did this. How could YOU do this to me? Why would YOU do this to me? Yet that actually perpetuates the upset and imbalance, making it impossible to move forward. Instead, I have learned to lean in. Literally leaning into what has occurred as if this is the only possible thing to choose. Instead of blaming, I look inward. I might say, okay, I thought he was the one, but I was mistaken. Or I hoped that this was my chosen life path, but now I see it isn’t. Or I was really blind-sighted this time, I will have to make sure next time I am seeing the whole picture clearly.
I have always loved the quote: “What we resist, persists”. It’s so true, yet when we lean in we become empowered to move on.
3 – Find a Hand
No matter where my life has taken me, I remain open to the help and support of people around me because sometimes we are so broken we actually can’t get up alone. I actively seek like-minded people in my life who seem to get getting it right, either professionally or personally and then invite them into my world. These people become my inspiration on good days, and just what I need on the harder ones. I have come to learn that simply because we need help, does not make us ‘needy’, yet more insightful. It is critical to know what we need in order to move forward, especially when we have been wired to be strong and independent. It is critical to be surrounded by people who won’t blink an eye at the sight of your outstretched hand, but instead reach theirs back out to you. It’s a support system that we all need, one that helps even when you don’t need it. One that continues to help you build on your own strengths.
We plan, and then life happens, but what matters most, is what you do next…
So what are you willing to do to finally reset and begin again with true hope and inspiration?