Paralyzed by the Decision-Making Process?
If you often feel paralyzed over having to make a clear-cut choice, an actual decision, you are not alone! So maybe that makes you feel a little bit better. Safety in numbers and all? Maybe, but it won’t ease the pain of having to make that final decision. I mean, we both know you make choices all day long. What to wear. What to eat. Which road to take. But often there are either other people involved in those decisions as well, or just that whatever you decide, won’t make much of a difference.
Sometimes the idea of making a decision can feel like paralysis.
Choose a path to get to the store, and there happens to be a backup on that road. Not a big deal. You will still get there, just a bit later. And if you’re only trying to feed yourself, and suddenly don’t like what you chose, you could always throw it out, start again, or just skip it altogether.
But what about those bigger decisions? The ones that only you can finalize, that mostly affect just you. Do you ever find yourself perseverating between a few choices for so long that you feel like you can’t even make the decision at all? It might be a big decision, like your next job, or not as important, like choosing the right beach house to rent. It would make logical sense that the bigger the decision, the harder it is to choose, but that isn’t necessarily the case. Especially if you are not impulsive, nor very detail oriented.
I’m guessing if you are still following my words, you don’t fall into those categories, so let’s take a look at what might be happening, and then see if with a few important tools and questions, you can move into action more quickly.
Let’s start with the job choice because it’s one that most people can relate to. Even if you are retired, I am sure you have at least once experienced feeling stuck in this decision of which job to take, and if not, am certain you can relate it to another area where this is exactly what happened. How do I know? Because Google, and the zillions of apps available to us currently, while intended to make this process easier, has only multiplied its’ level of difficulty. You already know why, but let’s go through this so we can learn how to get out of it!
It starts out like a simple process of interviewing, and alas, on the other side of all that stress, you have two offers. One is a little more money, but the other feels like a better fit. So what do you do now? Maybe you make some lists to verify pros and cons of each position. Kind of even? Perfect. Next you can go to LinkedIn and read about the people that work there. When that doesn’t shift your perspective, you can begin some serious google searching. Surely if you can find some specific details about the company, you will be able to make a better informed decision. But alas, that doesn’t do the trick either. So you call everyone you know and get as much input from your friends and family as you can.
By then, with your mind spinning about the amount of details and opinions you now have, you feel like you are in exactly the same spot where you began. Stuck, not knowing what to do. But how can that be, right? If knowledge is power, why doesn’t the most amount of knowledge possible help you make a decision? Well that’s because sometimes, too much information, is simply that, too much.
Even in the simple, non life changing event of booking a beach vacation. Have you ever tried to do that on one of the apps? I’ve literally spent weeks and months searching on the same app and constantly walking away not knowing what to do. That one is nice. But that one is even nicer. That one is cheaper, but doesn’t have the dates available that I want. And what if I book it and then a new one comes along that is even better? Then what?
The access that we have to searching about things is endless and while it can be helpful, often leads us to analysis paralysis. We become literally paralyzed in the searching part and become no longer able to make a decision. We just keep searching in hopes of finding something that will make us see the light. Anything will do.
The problem is that we don’t know what we are looking for. And usually the even bigger problem is that what we need to know, is not possible to find. Imagine that? Imagine if I told you that for sure, all those wasted hours, days, weeks of searching for some answer, isn’t even there to find?
Well, it’s true. And now that you know better, you have a chance to do better.
What we actually need to do when it comes to making a decision, is to create an intention around what we want, and then commit to when the decision will be made.
If on Monday you have 2 job offerings, commit to research maybe an hour a week, with a clear intention of choosing one job by Friday. But what if I don’t have enough information?
Listen, often no amount of information will get you to a certainty about this decision. What you simply need to do, is inhale deeply, imagine how you felt while sitting in the interview process, surrounded by the people you could be working with, and determine how you felt. Did you feel like it was a fit? Could you see yourself working along side of these people? Did you feel drained or energized after being with them?
These answers, are the only answers you need. Yeah but, what about the money? What about it. If the only thing you cared about was the dollar amount, then you wouldn’t be paralyzed about taking a job. The choice would be easy. But if that isn’t the case, then hear me out.
What you need, is what you already have, you simply have to be still and quiet long enough to hear what your mind, body and spirit are telling you, then choose. Maybe this choice will take you for the long haul all the way to retirement and maybe it is simply the next landing spot, but for sure, if you have listened to what’s underneath it all, you are making the right decision.
What if you have equal feelings about both of them? That makes it even easier! Choose! You can only choose one, so if they both felt great, put them both in a hat and choose one!
As for that vacation spot, if you simply stop when you get to the one that you really love, the one that has the dates you want and is in the right location, choose it! Then stop looking! If you simply accept your choice as the right one, there is no need to look any further. And, you then also won’t be worried about what might be available next. I mean, if you already have the right spot, who cares what is about to come up next?
Analysis paralysis could even be happening to your teens right now as they toss and turn every night, trying to decide which college to go to. With just a week for all of their decisions needing to be made, one would think they could just choose. But what if it isn’t the right choice?
Help them do the very same exercise I just gave you. Let them imagine how they felt when they were there visiting. Could they imagine being there, day after day? Being surrounded by the people they met, walking through the campus as their home? Then tell them to choose that one! Whichever one came to their minds first. Choose. And then stop looking. Instead, remind them to accept their own decision, as the right choice for them.
Let’s get moving!