You Just Do It.
You just do it. You force yourself to get up and put one foot in front of the other. Fight the urge to give up. Then go about the business of living. You just do it.”
You just do it.
Designing a purposeful life is not always this deep thinking process, that involves being purposeful in your every move, in your every thought...sometimes, it just starts from the basic personal principles of life that we don’t give much thought to at all. I like to think of it as our hard wiring.
What is hard wiring, though? I mean, at first glance, it would seem if something is hard wired, it is the way we are. It Is the natural thought process that comes up without much thought at all, right? I think about my oldest son, now 27, who was seemingly born as a hard-wired optimist. Still to this day, that is his natural go to...even in the midst of an upset, he can spin himself out of it within a few minutes and get to the other side of it with a positive or neutral stance. It’s fascinating to watch, and wonderful to be a part of because it often helps me work my way out of the very same upset, but it makes me think...
I suppose because I think people see me that way. There was someone close to me who described me as a dreamer. It wasn’t intended as a compliment, and probably not necessarily as a criticism, but that was how I heard it. He said he was a realist, and I was a dreamer. There was definitely more to that conversation, but that was the part I remembered. That was the part that has stayed with me for many years.
I know I denied it as the words rolled off his tongue at the time, but back then I would dispute most things upon arrival if they didn’t feel right. These days, though, I tend to be silent long enough to think about what someone is saying, especially in regards to my disposition or being and try to ask myself...is that true? What would that mean even if it were true?
A dreamer. Someone that dreams about things? I don’t think that is what he meant. I think what he meant, and to be fair, I could be wrong...but I think his opinion was that I had a dreamy way of looking at things. You know, a very positive outlook. One that he could not relate to.
My point is that the very basic way we respond to life is critical in designing a purposeful life. And...I believe that this way of responding to life is very different for everyone. Some of us are hard-wired to find the good, and some of us have difficulty finding our way out of the weeds on a daily basis. So if it’s true that designing a purposeful life relies on how we first respond to life itself, can all people truly design this for themselves? Or is this only available to those with this hard-wired dreamer-like disposition?
I definitely don’t have concrete research to support my theory on this, but I will use the data I have seen up close in my family, as well as with my clients. Not all of my clients, nor family members appear to be hard-wired with optimism, yet I can say for sure that they have been able to transition into that way of thinking.
Now, if you can’t relate to this optimistic way of thinking, you may be fully listening to me at this point. Maybe you secretly yearn for an easier way of thinking about life as it comes at you, maybe you have been working on this, or maybe you are just in awe of those around you that can think and live that way...but no matter how you slice it, I find that people without this natural inclination, do wish they had it! Yet are stuck believing that it’s just not how they process and therefore...can’t do it. Just can’t. Not for lack of trying. And not for their lack of wanting it.
Cue...negative disposition. Okay, that may be a little harsh. It might not be that you have a negative disposition. It might just be that you tend to worry. A lot. And when we pull apart this worrying game, it does seem to become a discussion, with yourself or others, of all the worst possible outcomes available.
You begin to find all of the holes. All the different scenarios of how bad this is now, and how bad this is going to get. Every once in a while your brain puts on a break and tries to interrupt this pattern, but then goes right back to it!
It makes my heart race just thinking about it.
You know why? Because even with a dreamer-like, optimistic disposition, my brain can quickly head south for seemingly no reason at all. I say seemingly, because while it seems like there is no reason, there often is. If I am not well rested, if I haven’t been feeling well, if I am overwhelmed with a new work project and am nervous about it...even if I don’t realize these things consciously...they affect my thinking. Even myself. The so called dreamer.
But I have tools. I have a plan in place for those days. And this is the part that you want to listen to if you have difficulty getting that negative noise to stop long enough for you to move on with your day and your life. My first tool is just in being prepared that there will be those days where the negative, worrisome self-talk will take over. The second tool is to replace my fears, worries, nay-saying attitude with some kind of action. ANYTHING will do!
I might begin to hear that voice, let it all out, then shake my head and say...ummm, no. Get out of bed and get a shower! If I am already well into my work day, I may still shake my head and say....ummm, no. But instead I will just get up. Reposition. Go out and get some fresh air. Grab a piece of fruit and play my favorite Spotify list. Anything that distracts my brain from this thinking for a few minutes. Anything will help! The last tool I use, when the voice is persistent, is to ask myself: Is this true? And then give myself some quiet time to answer. If I can’t answer my own question, then I ask, well, can you prove it?
And that’s the one that matters, because rarely is that thinking rational nor based on facts. So, I can never prove it even though many times I really want to. Which is when, no matter what kind of hard-wired thinker you are, you get to choose what is next. It’s when you prepare yourself for this next question: How do I get past this moment? Which is also when its’ best to lean into what Nike said best: Just do it.
“You just do it. You force yourself to get up and put one foot in front of the other. Fight the urge to give up. Then go about the business of living. You just do it.”
Remember: if you change one thing, it can change everything.