Let’s Go Somewhere. Anywhere Will Do.
I chose this topic today because I know that it’s relatable. Maybe even more so after a year in this pandemic, but not exclusively. We have constant commentary about wanting to just go. Somewhere. Anywhere. I mean, anywhere but here. Right?
The story line shifts and changes all of the time though. Depending on where we are in our life, we dream about our future, where we will be in the next year, five years...maybe even ten years. One day. Maybe you dream about living in a winter spot where you can ski any time you feel like it. Or maybe if you are like me, the constant fantasy during winter months is of being some where warm in a minutes notice.
But it’s not that simple. Nothing is really...or we would probably just be...wherever it is already!
Where we want to go can be so limiting depending on your lifestyle, careers and even your connectedness with family. If you have been with one job for a while, are feeling comfortable, nothing tying you down, time on your side, and the ability to choose where you really want to work...the going part can seem exciting and needed. But then in a minutes’ notice, one year becomes 5 years and suddenly there is a significant other, the idea of starting a family, maybe aging parents..and suddenly the parameters of where you can go, starts to thin out.
I am not just talking about moving to another city or state, but maybe the idea of going somewhere is about leaving this job, maybe even your career altogether. Maybe it’s as simple as leaving your current friend circle. Or something much more complicated, like leaving the comfort of your marriage.
The more you think about it, the more it takes over your thoughts. And the longer this random story carries on, the more it seems to move from thoughts and feelings to an actual fact-based reality. Yet for some reason, this reality you have created becomes a lesson on how to suffer through this thing we call life. Life is not fair sometimes, right?
How does that song go...you can’t alway get what you wannnnt.
So you muddle along. How long have you been muddling along in this thinking that you are stuck in though? Be honest. Why not stop avoiding it and just take a real look at it. Instead of running from the commentary, be still...and listen. Settle into the quiet place and imagine in where you want to be... Physically. Emotionally. Mentally.
Then be still. At least for the moment. Everywhere you go. There you are.
And if only for a few moments today, we can agree that in fact we take ourselves with us in everywhere we go, in every relationship we have, in every job we sign on for...we can start to take accountability for ourselves and where we are.
The first step it getting somewhere is in deciding you are not going to stay where you are. And it is only then, that you can begin uncovering the design of a purposeful life.
Period. I am not going to tell you it will be easy. It isn’t easy. Actually, most often, deciding that you are not going to stay where you are, can be quite painful. That is the truth. It is the truth that you know, but don’t want to hear. It is the truth that keeps you stuck and yet safe. While it also keeps you small. It’s what helps rationalize why you have to stay where you are...mind, body and spirit.
Change is hard. There is just no question about that. I have made some bold decisions in my life that now make me wonder how I was able to follow through with at all. It may appear as courageous, but I’m not sure it had anything to do with that at all. It just came from balancing out my fears. And by that I mean, my fear of continuing as I had been, became much more overwhelming than the fear of what could be next.
Whether it was a declaration to leave a loved one, move to a different house or even leave a career that had become like home, there was a balancing of fears and figuring out which was heavier. All I knew for sure was that I no longer could stay where I was...that I needed to feel lighter. That in order to have a balanced and purposeful life, the heavier thing I carried, might have to be released.
It was about a responsibility to take care of myself and an understanding that if I didn’t care for myself, no one else would either. And even so, it was painfully difficult. Unbelievably so. Not only to see someone else’s discomfortable with my decisions, but also my own discomfort in not really knowing what was next.
There is comfort in this place, even if we don’t want to be here. Even if this place makes us uncomfortable, it is still more comfortable than the thought of creating an unknown path to never land...so what now?
Here is where I will leave you today. The unknown isn’t dark and scary. You created that story but that doesn’t make it true. The unknown is just that: Unknown. For now. But what if you could create a different story about the unknown that may just hold the sweet spot of your life?
As my dad loves to say on repeat: If we are going to make it up anyway, why not make it up great?!
Remember: If you change one thing, it can change everything.