Turning the Dial on Negative Thinking
I know this concept may be hard to believe, but whether you are a dreamer or a realist, the ability to turn the dial is always available. Even to you.
You have more control than you think when it comes to the way you think.
The dial. That thing that controls the noise level on your negative voice. The thing that often controls our every move and thought. The dial that we think we cannot control, but in actuality are completely in charge of. If only, we knew where it was and could actually move it.
Here is the good news! That negative voice will only control if you allow it to. As long as you continue to accept that this is simply who you are, this is who you will be. But what would change for you if you knew you had the ability to change the volume?
How about we just turn it off, right? Actually, while that sounds pretty dreamy, wishing to turn off a voice that lies somewhere deep within you, is very rare. Yet with some simple tools, you will see that you don’t really need to turn it off. You will see pretty quickly that the simple act of turning it down, will be just the game changer you need.
In coaching, we call this little dark voice, your inner critic. Everyone has their own critic, it’s just that everyone’s critic has different things to say. Different ways to sabotage your efforts. And yes, even the most positive minded thinkers fall prey to this voice.
The only real difference between a positive minded person and negative minded one, is that the person prone to positive thinking spends a great amount of time analyzing and over analyzing the voice. Often spending days or weeks trying to negotiate where this voice comes from, and how to make it stop. While the naturally inclined negative thinker expects this voice. This voice exacerbates a natural way of moving through the world, constantly taunting all the possible things that could and probably will, go wrong. No need to analyze or find a way to stop. Nope. This is how we roll!
In both of these thinking brains, though, the voice just appears. Sometimes when we are least expecting it and sometimes while we are sitting around waiting for it. But either way…there it is! Again and again.
The voice, even in its negative disposition, is not actually what is getting in your way, though. It is not what keeps a negative person in a continued negative thought pattern and is not what keeps the positive person from staying in a positive disposition. It’s just a tiny voice in the back of your head that often originates from random fears. Maybe from your past, or maybe from what’s present, but either way, it remains. It’s attempt, while unbeknownst to you, is simply to stop you from whatever it is you want to think or do next, so that you don’t have to feel uncomfortable.
It’s typically designed to keep you from discomfort. Even if you’re not consciously seeking that. Aren’t we always looking for ways to feel more comfortable, though?
The truth is that we actually need this voice. It reminds us of where our comfort zone is, so that we can carefully ease away from it and do the next right thing, in spite of what we feel. Whatever next is for you. The voice is a reminder of where you have been, which then gives you an opportunity to declare where you really want to go.
But if it would stop…I would be less fearful and more confident! Right?
We can’t stop our inner voice, though, nor should we, because the mere attempts to make it stop, only make it carry on longer and sometimes even louder. Besides, what if the voice says just what you need to hear? It isn’t always negative. It’s just that the negative voice is the one you hear the loudest, because you tend to pause or maybe dig your heels in deeper at the sound of it. And while it would be nice if our little voice only repeated niceties all day long, it just isn’t realistic.
But don’t worry, you don’t need to make it stop in order to change your perspective. All you need to do is find the dial. And in order to do that, you simply need to be prepared. Here is how that would look.
* Accept that one of your inner voices is your personal critic.
* Expect it to arrive when you are about to change your mind or perspective on something new.
* Be prepared with a response.
* Listen to what it says.
* Thank it for sharing (quietly), and then negate it with what you know is true!
The critical piece is in having a response ready and being able to use it every single time it occurs. Even when you are not positive you believe your own comeback. The more you are able to negate it, the quieter the negative inner voice will be.
The goal is to have your comeback become your loudest voice.
Here is a simple example:
(The inner critic) I can’t believe I haven’t heard back from that job I applied to. I knew they would never consider me. I shouldn’t have even applied. How embarrassing. Why would they hire me? I’m not even qualified for it!
(The new voice) That’s ridiculous. I just haven’t heard yet. They are probably weeding through so many applications. Maybe they are sending to other decision makers before making a decision. I bet I get it! I think I’ll apply to a few more positions while I wait, just in case.
Quiet the critic with a positive mantra. You will be amazed at how this simple shift will turn down the volume, even without knowing where the dial is.
If this is something that feels helpful, preorder a copy of my new book coming out: Born for the Shift. It will give you insight on designing new and positive perspectives in your every day life. It will help you learn how to change your mind in a way that changes your life.
Thanks for listening. And remember, if you change one thing, it can change everything.