Channeling the Lens of Spring
Spring is about to bloom before our very eyes. Actually, depending on where you live, it may already be alive and kicking! Here in Pennsylvania we have already had enough sunshine and warmth sporadically that the flowers have bloomed maybe a moment too soon, as they endure chilly nights. But they are hanging on. That’s what I love about those first bud’s blooming. They seem to have such stamina. The way they keep offering me with a hopeful steady heartbeat, as I inhale all that I want them to stand for.
I know I am not alone in this perspective about spring. Even if I am often in awe of those around me that are laughing and smiling through our coldest days of winter, I see the way their eyes glow in the spring. But for me it is not just a glimmer of hope about warmer days, it is a whole different perspective. It is what the warm air does for me. Making me feel steady, calm, quiet and mindful. No matter what is going on around me. The warmth surrounds me in a way that can’t be fully imagined with words. Wrapping my body in a blanket that is always the right temperature, leaving very little room for discourse and entanglement. Things become clearer for me. Crooked lines become straighter. Everything right out in front suddenly makes sense.
For me, the lens I wear when spring arrives, reminds me of the way I feel right after overcoming an illness. While I have known myself to be someone who rarely gets sick, since the great pandemic, that hasn’t really been true. I too, have gotten all the things, desperately trying to keep my head in a positive state, reminding myself that this too shall pass and praying (on repeat) for spring.
Spring is coming, I tell myself. Just hang on. Like the beautiful purple flowers taking shape outside my door, daring to arrive before the cold nights have gone, I too, feel I can make it. And then I do. There is that one morning, I realize I slept through the night, no longer coughing and hey, sinuses are even finally clear. It is that morning, that I don’t feel like crawling out of bed, but instead, feel like bursting into the new day as if I had been given a second chance at life.
It’s a bit hysterical really, I mean, I was never dying. I just had all the things. Like everyone else. But the lens I saw my life through, was always dim. With the chronic exhaustion in my body, I lacked the clarity to think clearly and therefore began questioning everything I knew about myself, my strength, my stamina, my knowledge. At times, I even believed my inner critic when it said, ‘this might just be how it is from now on.’
But then one day it passed. And just like that, everything was clear. Not just clear, though, but empowering me to be fully alive! It wasn’t because I was given a second chance at life, it was just that I had my old lens back on. The lens that reminded me how amazing life could be.
That lens, is why I haven’t posted in a while. No new blogs or posts, because all my thoughts seemed to be stuck. Just glued together in one big heap. And so once I came out from under that, I was reminded that it was the perfect time to regroup and make sure I was in just the right spot.
‘Of bad things, good things come,’ that is what my mom would say often. It’s hard to believe that when you are in the middle of the hard stuff, but in time, we become a believer. And so I took the time to analyze the current moment. I took the time to be still long enough to imagine spring. To imagine the warmth, even before it had come. To channel the spring lens that was just around the corner, so I could be certain that I was in the right place, right now.
That’s what spring does for me. It helps me to regroup. You might be thinking, it sounds like you have seasonal disorder and maybe should move to a warmer climate. And yea, that might be right. Except that the only other thing that brings me joy like my spring lens, is being surrounded by our kids, who are not kids anymore. With our oldest 2 boys independently moving around their lives, and choosing to stay local, there really is no place I would rather be. Here, with access to the home team whenever it is available.
So that is where I began as I assessed my current situation. Asking myself the important questions, and waiting for the honest answers. Not just the easy answers, but the ones that matter. Knowing that if at anytime, my answers feel uncomfortable, I can make a decision to change that part of my life. This is where many people get stuck. But this is where I get most motivated. When I decide I need a change, I choose to get excited about what is unknown, rather than fearing it. I mean, this may not be Kansas, but also isn’t the great Pandemic of 2020 and we can create change. Period.
Remember when we had to alter all of our plans? When one day lead to the next and we had to keep regrouping, not knowing what was ahead? Remember how we kept going, because we just had to? Well, that perspective is available to you anytime! For me, it appears most obviously when that first little bud makes it way through the dirt…it stares at my soul and says, ‘are you where you want to be?’ It’s that lens, that helps me arrive at another fork in the road, with choices to make.
You can get there too. No matter how you feel about winter, there is much to embrace as we watch spring transform around us. All you need to do is take the time to pause. * Ask yourself a few questions. *Listen without fear to the answers. *Decide where you want to go next.
Here are the questions: (it’s best if you can write these answers down)
1. In this moment, what is your intuition telling you?
2. When you are still, does it feel like you are in the right spot?
3. When you get quiet, what does that little voice tell you?
4. What do you really, really want right now?
5. What would it take for you to have that in your life now?
Now it’s time to do the work. And no, it’s not the hard stuff, because the hard stuff is what you have been doing already, that does not currently align with who you are in this minute. This will be the easy stuff, that will align you inside and out.
Let’s go. Let’s put on that spring lens and channel that little bud making its’ way out of the dirt and into the sunshine and warmth.