Have you ever, and I mean, ever, said ‘no, I definitely can’t do that’ and then unbeknownst to yourself, actually did that thing?! Swim across the lake. Write that book. Get your first client. Get your 100th client. Complete that research project. Fix that thing that has been broken for-ever!?

Yes?! Then you know it’s possible. The question is how do we repeat it? How do we get past the point of saying, no, I can’t, to maybe I can, to I did it!

This seems so obvious that every time I read it, I literally want to roll my eyes. Like, hello? Yes! Why would I continue to carry things around day in and day out when I have zero ability to control it? And how can I possibly think straight about the things I CAN control when I am holding space for the things I CAN’T?

Now, at the corner of midlife, I see how important it is to care for ourselves, while keeping perspective on how others feel. That is a tough one for most of us! The intention is to understand and empathize with others, without having it change the way we feel. You know, so that you can take care of yourself, because that is the end game that leads to an authentically happy life.

Getting to a relaxed state of mind isn’t something that easily occurs, which is why we have such a hard time accessing  it. We are literally waiting for the confirmation that now is the time to relax! 

Instead we simply need to learn how to relax during a moment that we are not currently craving it. 

The thinking is a great place to start. But what will transform thoughts into things is the perspectives around these thoughts.

You just do it. You force yourself to get up and put one foot in front of the other. Fight the urge to give up. Then go about the business of living. You just do it.”

It’s all about perspective!

I chose this topic today because I know that it’s relatable. Maybe even more so after a year in this pandemic, but not exclusively. We have constant commentary about wanting to just go. Somewhere. Anywhere. I mean, anywhere but here. Right?

When it comes right down to this concept of designing a purposeful, life I am clear about one thing: It is much easier to talk about the design, the how, the why and even the gratification once you arrive there...than it is to begin this transformation. 

It never seems to fail, after several hours or even days of life rolling along smoothly, happily even, out of nowhere, the clouds return.

Why does my life constantly have this way of rolling…good, then bad, then good…it makes it impossible to even enjoy the good at all!

Year end reflection on 2020. How do we clean this muddy slate, so we can start anew?

While some may think that productivity is just a matter of working hard and having discipline, this isn’t necessarily the case. In fact, there are key habits that differentiate between productive people and less productive people, and not practicing these habits naturally leads to decreased productivity, no matter who you are.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that.

So let’s recreate this inner dialogue, being mindful about the light we choose. First let’s begin by stating the things that we do know to make it feel less dark. The coming dark winter may simply be similar to last March, except with shorter days and less warmth (depending on where you live). Since you DID survive last March, as well as April, etc, there is no reason to think you can’t survive it again.